This piece is published in collaboration with Widjan, a Beirut based literary magazine of prose by Arabs
When she opened her eyes, all she could see in front of her was grey – the sky was vacant, the greenery that once surrounded the city, now turned to ash; all she could hear was the high-pitched ringing in her ears.
She turned her head left and right, frantically, as if the more she turned, the more she would understand. But no matter how hard she tried, she could not place herself – where am I? Her hands moved blindly next to her to feel the surface she was now on – not soft earth. Rigid below her, things that felt like shards of glass poked into her hands, so she stopped moving them.
Open your mouth, she thought, maybe if you scream someone will hear you. But no words came out. She could feel the strain in her throat but heard nothing. Do I still have a voice?
She began a desperate game, picking up whatever she could fit into her hands then throwing it in an effort to break the silence, make noise, attract attention. In her mind, she was counting. Seven hundred nineteen, seven hundred twenty. She’d gotten to seven hundred and twenty. That’s twelve minutes. Twelve minutes and she still can’t hear. Still seeing grey, still throwing gravel, still panicking.
When she got to one thousand two hundred, her vision began to clear. She fluttered her eyes in an effort to see better; first her bloody hands, now extended in front of her; then, as she pushed herself upright, she caught a glimpse of her stretched legs, covered in dust. The aftermath of it all. As she tried to wiggle her toes inside her torn now-grey sneakers, her eyes lingered on the skeletal ruin of what was once a building.
She squeezed her eyes shut, this time willingly.
She’s welcomed back into her room, in bed, watching her favourite Netflix show under her purple duvet. Just another random fall day. I’ll say my prayers and sleep after this one episode, she thought. Just one more.
TALA LADKI
Tala is the founder and Editor in Chief of Wijdan, which she launched earlier this year. Check it out!